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tv   Money Clinic  BBC News  August 5, 2018 12:30am-1:01am BST

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on television to say that explosive drones have been flown towards a military event attended by president maduro. the minister said there were explosions and that they were regarding this as an attempt on the president's life. the president is said to be unharmed. there have been firm words behind the warm handshakes at a summit in singapore between us and north korean foreign ministers. the us has called for continued pressure on pyongyang over the its nuclear programme. north korea has in turn described the calls as "alarming." more than 1000 firefighters tackle blazes in portugal and spain, where temperatures hit 46 degrees and records are broken across europe. detest —— detect is searching for
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samantha eastwood have found the body. detectives spent the day searching a rural area outside stoke—on—trent. the 32—year—old man arrested on sunday on kidnap has been rearrested on suspicion of murder. samantha eastwood was described by her family as warm, generous and a selfless midwife. these cctv images of the 28—year—old leaving the royal stoke hospital after a night shift last friday were the last time she was seen alive. after an extensive search of woodland and fields around the village of caverswall in rural staffordshire, a body was discovered by police at midday. those living nearby said there had been a heavy police presence here for days. just a lot of police activity, a lot of people about, and a police helicopter in the field, hovering around, which is normally a quiet lane. as we came back into the farm this morning about 10:30,
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there was quite a lot of activity around the entrance to the quarry at the bottom of the lane. there seemed to be police dogs and police officers. it was around 9am this morning when police closed off this quiet country lane about ten miles from stoke—on—trent. and it has been the focus of intense police activity ever since. then, late this afternoon, detectives confirmed that three men had been arrested. a 32—year—old who had been released on bail was rearrested on suspicion of murder. a 28—year—old and a 60—year—old man were arrested on suspicion of assisting an offender. the body has yet to be formally identified, as staffordshire police say they are supporting samantha eastwood's family at this difficult time. sarah corker, bbc news, in caverswall, staffordshire. now on bbc news, it's time for money clinic. we're putting money and relationships under the spotlight.
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many of us find it hard to talk about money, even with those we are closest to. and that can turn into a big problem. money is about power and control. in this programme, couples will open up to an expert to try to get a better understanding of theirfinances... now i know there are people who depend on me. i have to work harder. ..their emotions... it would be so selfish of me not to take care of her. i wish every daughter would feel about way about their mother. ..and one another. it is time to open the doors to the bbc money clinic. kenya's capital, nairobi. home to around four million people, from the very rich to the very poor. in between is a growing middle class. people come here from all over to try to make it in the big city. but family ties remain strong.
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and that for some people creates an extra financial burden. seeing the couples in the bbc money clinic today is life coach and authorjenny karina. jenny is a specialist in helping people get the balance right between love and money. someone said that there is no romance without finance. and whether that is true or not, what i can say is that actually it is documented that over 75% of couples end up in divorce because of money conflicts. and so, it's not about intimacy, it is about how you manage your money together as a couple. would you say then that a lot of arguments about money are not
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about money, per se, but they are about other things? you hit the nail on the head. deep—seated attitudes that we have. deep—seated attitudes, upbringing, parents, exposure to money, environment that you are in, your experience of a time of loss or plenty, all that forms our mindsets and attitudes concerning money. so when we are having money arguments, it is not about the money, it is the emotion that is evoked in us in that discussion. first into the clinic are 29—year—old banker tom and 24—year—old cynthia. she is pregnant, has given up work, and their wedding plans are on hold. in kenya, weddings are costly affairs for the groom and his side of the family. in many cases, a formal meeting between both sets of parents has to be paid for. then there is the bride price — cows, goats, and cash can change hands. and of course, there is the wedding itself. it's this long list
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of expenses that is worrying financially cautious tom. i'm in a relationship with cynthia. she is humble, respectful, god—fearing. she is a homemaker. tom is responsible. i like him because of his responsibility. i tend to think long—term in terms of financial savings, money management, and planning. tom has told me, maybe if i have money, i will buy makeup, shoes. for me, it is not a priority, our wedding. it's a one—off affair. we'll have people come and go, and then the amount will have gone just like that. so my idea was to delay it at least for up to two or three years. i'm not sure about that.
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that's why we must go here. going to the clinic will help us to understand better what we are getting into and expectations of financial matters. cynthia, hello and welcome to the bbc money clinic. hello. tom, hello. so you two are looking for some tips about sharing your financial future together. how are you feeling? i am excited. to be here and to learn. excellent. feeling great. great, 0k. well, jenny is ready for you, so please go in and enjoy. all right, thank you. because we are expecting our first baby, we agreed that cynthia can take a break until the baby comes. and then she can resume work. so as it is, i'm the sole bread winner. cynthia, how did you feel when he asked you to leave work and just wait until the baby is born? at first i did not agree with him.
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one thing i love about tom is he is responsible. at least he opened up about his income, the amount of money he earns. i'm glad you said you were a bit uncomfortable about that in the beginning. because what happens is money is about power and control, and when you are the one with the money, you have got the power. when you're the one without the money, you have no power, you have no control. i know that couples have a lot of money arguments and money conflicts, particularly when it's one person that is providing
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and the other one is simply spending. you make money, she spends it all. she has no financial prudence with the money that you give her. maybe she's a good spender. how are you planning to manage your finances together? before she resumes work, we can agree on an amount that i can be putting into an account and then she can be managing that until the end of the month. and so, tom, you now have the financial responsibility over your household. now i have to focus on the bigger goal. because now i know there are people who will depend on me. yes. i have to work additionally harder. yes. there are friends that i had to leave behind because now we do not share the same responsibilities or goals. and so in some sense it has brought
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a sense of responsibility and discipline to me. yes, great, that's good. but the reality of the matter now is that you now have a family. and so you need to think at a broader level, even beyond the wedding. because the wedding is a one—off event and the marriage is a lifetime. and so even as you think about the wedding, the dowry, and the celebration, maybe we could unpack that a bit so i canjust get a glimpse of what your dreams are concerning that. initially, i was not planning to have our wedding immediately. i had planned we just show respect to the parents, we do an introduction, we pay a dowry in a weekend, then we can do our wedding when we are both comfortable. i don't subscribe to the idea of fundraising for a wedding or collecting money from friends for a wedding. i want to fund my own wedding. but for her, she really wanted a wedding this year.
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some of the family members really wanted a wedding. and so the wedding, the introduction comes with the cost implications. of course, we have the dowry, which in our culture, you can do cattle or a money equivalent. so you can see if all this goes the same year, it's a huge cost, considering again i do not subscribe to taking loans. yes. so it means you really have to deny yourself everything. and allow me to ask cynthia, what you want concerning this relationship? i want this relationship to grow into a marriage. because we are still young, so we are experiencing many challenges. what are the challenges? of course, there are cost challenges. yes.
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insecurity? 0k. it's a bit weird because i have been earning my own money, so it's difficult at times now that i do not earn money. what i hear you say is i am pregnant, i am young, i am in this guy's house, we have no commitment, he can find another beautiful woman, they are born every day, so what is going to happen to me? and you have every right to feel insecure as long as he did not have this ring on yourfinger. and what happens about having a ring on yourfinger, it becomes legally binding. and once is legally binding, then you are lawfully his wife. so i see that is what you are looking for. yeah. it's clearjust how much cynthia wants that wedding, but tom still has concerns. what i hear you, tom, say is one, you are really excited about the responsibility of being a husband and father.
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however, there is anxiety about the cost of the process. and it is for that reason that you are asking cynthia to consider not having the wedding immediately. it's the white wedding. the white wedding? yes. but if you're like me or any other girl, you want to walk down the aisle and sing here comes the bride. is that a reality for you? yes, that is what i want. that is what you want. yeah. and so i see that you are very agreeable, wonderful young couple. how are you planning to build a kitty for project marriage? i have a side business, so i decided the money i get from that side business will go towards the wedding. 0k, wonderful. tom and cynthia, thank you so much for coming to bbc money clinic. do you feel you got some good ideas? yes, i feel happier and i think my
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mind has now been opened up on possibilities that come with a wedding. you said that you feel quite insecure in your situation. do you feel happier now? yes, i feel happier and more secure. that is a great result. i am very pleased for you. might i be getting an invitation to the wedding? yeah, sure, when it comes. excellent. well, i will look forward to it. lovely. best of luck in the meantime and we wish you well for sure. thank you. 0k, well, so tom and cynthia have learned a lot about one another, had a really nice conversation and are feeling better, more confident about their future together. of course, it's worth remembering that everybody‘s situation is different, so options that may suit some people may not suit others. we are in nairobi.
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many here have to work severaljobs to get by. it's known as having a side hustle. we are finding that that pressure is putting a strain on people's personal relationships as well as their finances. in kenya, average live expectancy has been increasing rapidly. in a little over a decade, it has gone from 55 years to 67. but many people are not sufficiently prepared for old age, and children are having to support their parents for longer. 26—year—old faith and 29—year—old emanuel both work in business and have been married forjust over a year. after a big wedding, they are struggling to get on top of their finances. this is lorraine's.
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0ur parents, both sides, they are not employed. so every detail that they need, it's a call. "hey, i need this." you work hard. i worked to support our family back home, just because from my mother, my dad... they have monthly expenses. they have to go to the hospital like twice every month. my mother, she sacrificed so much, i cannot afford to say no to her. so that is why sometimes i will go ahead to make financial decisions without factoring in my husband. you tried the berries. we cannot make enough money. we are paying a loan. it is like having two responsibilities that you can't afford. sometimes, it has been difficult.
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will you check on the rice? sometimes you work so hard that you don't understand where the money is going because the demands are too high. you get the money and oh, my parents, that has to go there. we shop for a month, we cannot afford to shop for every other day. we have to be very careful when we buy. is it necessary or is it not? the guidance i am looking for from the bbc money clinic is a way to balance between supporting our parents and paying our bills. fay, hello, emanuel, welcome to the bbc money clinic. thank you. it's great to have you here. how are you feeling? a little bit tense. a bit tense? nervous but expecting to learn. excellent, well i'm sure you will learn. this is the intention. so. i knowjenny‘s ready for you,
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so you're free to go in now and enjoy. thank you. thank you so much. 0k, see you soon. when your parents are number one on the list of your financial priorities, i wonder what makes you feel obligated? my mum, she is in her 50s right now, and her income was small—scale farming, which does not bring so much to the table. so growing up, to see her sacrifice everything for me, so it should be so selfish of me not to take as a responsibility to take care of her. yeah. oh, i wish every daughter would feel that way about their mother. i'm reminded of a young man that was very creative in the manner in which he supported his parents.
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and he said, you know, this every month giving money is a big burden, and so he chose to give a lump sum in terms of a project. a project cow. and they milk the cow, they sell the milk and they were able have money for their daily needs. what opportunities could you give your parents in terms of earning from their labour in their home? for me, you've said that and something just came to my head. my mum loves business. anything she puts her hands on, she will do it with all her heart. yes. it's making so much sense that i should actually try and find something that i can set up for her, something she can work
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on and that would be a simple way of sustaining her life right now. i can already see the smile on your mum's face. yeah. yeah? she's very young. 50. very young? oh, i'm 60! sorry. so i think, give your mother the opportunity to thrive in her season. true. now that faith is feeling happier about her mum, canjenny work her magic on emanuel and an outstanding loan? is the loan for a house mortgage orfor a car? it is actually for a business. once i got married, because the business was far away from nairobi, and faith was working in nairobi,
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i had to make a choice. and, uh, we tried, and at some point, it became really difficult. emanuel, as you talk about this business, i just get the sense that it's a project that has failed. and is not redeemable. that's what i'm getting from you. you have no energy even talking about this. i will challenge you with this question. is this business worth having? not really. so what's so difficult aboutjust cutting your losses and running? because this business continues to take your money, but you feel that it is going to be an evil thing to let go, because it will be a sign of failure. you've just like, uh...
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said my thoughts. a failure of a business is not a failure of emanuel. faith, can you just tell him that? he's like the wisest man i know. yeah. he always has business ideas, and if this fails, he will wake up, he can rise up and build something else. great. thank you for helping me tell him to let it go. let it go, let it go, let it go. so, emanuel, faith, thank you much so for coming. well, gosh, how was that? that was amazing. amazing. there were some serious revelations there. emanuel, you had some very hard words about your business, but you said it was like hearing your own thoughts in your head? that's true. are you ready to let it go? and not feel like a failure?
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crucially. yes, i think that's the point. yeah. you've got certainly some serious thinking to do anyway about your business. and, faith, you came here to find out how to say no to your mum, such a difficult thing for you to do. butjenny has some other ideas? yeah, i mean, i'm going to do it the easiest way by giving her something she can do to have a sustainable income for herself, and that is what i needed. yeah, the look on your face, it was a light bulb moment. it was an eye—opener for me. so i'm so glad it came. excellent. so pleased to hear it. cool thank you. so, two very happy people have come to the bbc money clinic. of course, everybody‘s circumstances are different, and choices that may work for some may not work for others. the couples came in quite nervous and they left beaming. exactly.
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like a weight had been lifted off their shoulders. exactly. you could see it. and all i did was provide them a nonjudgmental environment where they were able to share and find their own solutions, did you see that? they really did the work themselves. they did the work themselves, ijust asked the hard questions. and so, that's what i am taking home, really, that there is nothing too difficult to overcome. you just need to talk about it. what would be your one top tip? have a goal together with your significant other. if you are not aligned, you will always have challenges. be authentic and align your goals. when you do that, you will live right. —— thrive. that's it from the bbc money clinic in nairobi. hello.
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if you had the sunshine on saturday, there is more to come on sunday. like saturday, there will be more cloud across northern ireland and scotland and at times that could bring some showery rain, but for most, it is mainly dry and a good deal of sunshine, as this area of high pressure continues to develop from the south—west. clear skies overnight for much of england and wales. they will give way to sunshine by day. always more cloud for scotland and northern ireland though. this front in the north—west should bring some more rain later in the day. more on that in a moment. patchy rain in the north of scotland. some brighter spells for northern ireland, even though there is a lot of cloud.
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but the lion's share of sunshine once againacross england and wales. 15 to 19 degrees celsius for scotland. 21 for northern ireland. mid to high 20s for much of england and wales, getting close to 30 celsius through east anglia and south—east england. for many, it is a fine, calm sunday. late spells of sunshine overnight. you can see the cloud increasing, outbreaks of rain in scotland, northern england. 14 to 17 celsius the overnight low on sunday morning. this is how we start the new working week, holding onto high pressure. that front really starting to make inroads, increasing the cloud and bringing further rain through monday morning across northern ireland and into scotland. behind that, you can see there is some fresher air trying to sink it way south—eastwards. it is going to take its time to get across much of england and wales,
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probably not until wednesday or thursday will we start to see a dip in temperature. for monday morning in a little bit more detail, further cloud and rain for northern ireland and scotland. some of that rain just perhaps getting into the far north of england through monday morning. but elsewhere, further south, it's going to stay dry and again, there will be plenty of sunshine. in fact, temperatures higher again on monday, parts of east anglia and south—east england exceeding 30 celsius. notice the contrast as you head further north and west, the high teens to earl 20 celsius. so quite some contrast. that theme continues for scotland, northern ireland, and the far north of england. it will be cooler here. there will be some showery rain through tuesday. many places largely dry, particularly northern england. yes, we are hanging onto the sunshine but slowly we will start to see those temperatures dropping away. it stays dry but it will be turning clear. bye— bye. this is bbc news. i'm nkem ifejika.
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our top stories: the venezuelan government says there has been an attack on the president during a military parade. lebron james gets the backing of the first lady hours after the us president makes insulting remarks about him. brazil's former president in jail for corruption is chosen by his party to make another run for the presidency. and more than 1000 firefighters tackle blazes in portugal and spain where temperatures hit 46 degrees and records are broken across europe.
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